Nocturnal Insomnia, Diurnal Somnia

I suffer from a strange disease. I hereby christen it NIDS.

I can't go to sleep if I stay awake past around 8.30 in the night, unless I take extreme efforts to do so. Even if I haven't slept the previous, not a wink, I still can't go to bed if cross that 8-8.30 line. And much to my irritation, however much sleep I've had cannot prevent me from falling asleep any time during the day. By day, I mean the period between 8.30 in the morning, (when the sun-rays lose their innocence), till about 5.30 in evening (when they regain it). During this 'sun-time', all I have to do to fall asleep is lie down on the bed. Everything falls in place, and before I know it, I nod off to sleep. Nothing can come in between me and my sleep during this time, no noise, no heat, no mosquitoes, nothing ! But falling asleep at night - Hercules will probably cry if he is assigned this Sisyphean task of putting me off to sleep every night, and Atlas will definitely shrug.

You cannot imagine to what extent of preparation I go to, to achieve the target of sleeping at night. I set alarms for every half hour starting from 4.00 am. I enqueue about a 100 odd songs in wmp (who knows how much time I might be awake ?). I stare at the fan in the hope that my eyes will get tired and droop off. I multipy 2 and 3 digit numbers in the hope that my brain will tire out - counting sheep was hopeless, as I discovered many years ago. Most importantly, I try not to sleep at all during the day. But this I discovered, is a very very tough thing to do.

When I'm at home, around 9.30-ish in the morning, the bai comes for jhaadu-pochha, thus separating me from the computer. Having nothing to do till she finishes the cleaning, I loll about here and there, and eventually end up in the embryonic position, as snug as a bug in a rug (as Wodehouse has said), on our sofa. If I somehow muster up enough willpower to avoid this temptation, the postprandial period arrives, bringing with it a full stomach and an afternoon dullness (which only our college professors can match), which are stronger than most sedatives. And don't forget, the afternoon last for a full 4 hours - one lapse, one small blip in my willpower radar, and drowsiness swarms over me in a jiffy. There's my mobile on the bed, a few magazines strewn here and there, my watch lying under the pillow, the chaddar flowing among all this debris like a sinuous river, a water bottle here, and my head phones there - all that be damned. My body falls limp over all this, my legs half falling over, and moments later I'm but a dead log.

At college (where I stay in a hostel), it is no different. Going to college and sitting in class ranks first in the survey listing "Natural Sedatives". I don't think I need to explain how tough it is keep awake, my parents understand it, my friends also succumb to it, it is universally acknowledged. If you need more details on what goes on in class, check this out. And going to bed early - people keep knocking at that very moment when I am either contemplating going to bed, or when I have just gone to bed. Like this moron, who kept knocking on my door for around 10 mins even though the lights in the room were switched off. (I know it was 10 mins because I woke up at the first knock, and waited for a full 9 mins for him to go away, but pertinacious jackass that he was, I knew he would keep knocking, and hence I finally opened the door. Turns out, he was some first year. I use the words moron and jackass with certainty because I saw his face in the light later, and he definitely was one. Long haired friend of mine, if you ever do read this, you know whom I'm talking about.)

Aaah ! It is approaching 11.35 pm - come what may, I have to lie down in bed. Readers, please pray that I may fall asleep !