No longer the Apple of my eye
http://business.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?265709
Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur . . . and hence English it is !
http://business.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?265709
By Dhruv Chandras @ 7:40 PM 0 They Said
Labels : Gadgets / Techno
I was about to sleep. I reminded myself that I have to enable currency trading for account tomorrow. Why ? Just like that. Not that I intend to start immediately, but I prefer to keep things 'enabled'. The day I want to do it, I shouldn't have to waste time and energy getting basic things started.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 3:18 AM 0 They Said
Most people underestimate beer.
Not in the area of providing enjoyment of course,
Beer has always been accepted as the 'coolest' drink... and beer is a great way to bond with the dudes, and to become 'cool' quickly. I would like to quote a great expert on the various forms and brands, desi and otherwise, of alcohol..... the esteemed GG. If he gets to know that a particular guy does not like beer, he has only one thing to say... "Pussy." While in France, if at all I used to feel insecure while partying with the crazy all-night-long-drinking-drinking-and-more-drinking Germans, I would automatically say, "Yo ! I wanna attend Oktoberfest man ! J'aime la biere !".
but in the area of providing the high.
You see.. most people think that only the hard drinks.. whisky, vodka, the rest.. can get you really drunk. I thought so too myself. Until of course GG, when we recently met up in France, started exhibitting strange behaviour. The Arab and me were all for a bottle of Red Label. GG went for 3 500 ml cans of strong beer. We were like... "Pussy."
Yet, since that day, many a nice beer party later, I can say with confidence, that beer provides you a nice sustained party high like no other.
Mathematical Proof :
Strong Beer = 8% of alcohol
Whisky = 40% of alcohol
3 cans of 500 ml each = 1500 ml
8% * 1500 = 120 ml of pure alcohol
5 large (60 ml) pegs of whisky
40% * 300 = 120 ml of pure alcohol
Which means 3 cans of strong beer is equivalent to drinking 5 large pegs of whisky or any other hard drink of comparable alcohol content. QED.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 1:41 AM 2 They Said
This was my submission for the course mentioned in the previous post.
These people have been unfortunate enough to get a seat in the front rows where there’s apparently no escape. Apparently. First invented by Pannie and later successfully copied by many others, this style makes extensive use of a rigid contortion of your forearm. You tilt your neck inwards as if you were reading your textbook, and you rest your head on the palm. Once your head is comfortably ensconced in the soft comfort of your palm, and you are sure that it will not slip, you can rest those droopy eyelids and let yourself be seduced by one of nature’s greatest pleasures. Be warned though, this is not for the light-handed, coz once slip and you will end up headbanging to a totally different tune.
These people are the ones blessed with glasses. The teacher’s penetrating glare is rendered ineffective due to one of nature’s most common phenomenons – reflection. Whether the student chooses to keep his eyes open or shut is his decision. Behind the safe shield of the glasses, even the most diligent of students are transported into a world of their own. There is only one catch – your body language, posture and facial muscles should radiate rapt attentiveness. IIFTians’s are quick learners, they think on their feet and also off their feet. My observations indicated that within a week’s time, this art had been mastered to dizzying depths of somnolence.
These people have no special talents. They are jacks of no trade and masters of none. However, by virtue of having cornered a corner seat, they have the odds in their favour. A quick statistical analysis of the angles of rotation of the teacher’s neck enlightens one to the fact that the teacher seldom looks constantly at the extreme sides of the class. The mean, median and mode are all 0 degrees. The students also take into consideration another useful piece of info – their degree of sleepiness also varies between the states ‘awake’ and ‘asleep’. Hence, the weighted probability of the teacher catching these students asleep is really low. Thus, these students take their chance and doze off in a trance.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 8:14 PM 5 They Said
Labels : Mea Culpa, Supposed to be Funny
We had to submit an article as part of course work for Business Communication in our first trimester. This was what Gaurav came up with. I think it is a masterpiece.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF ROOM NO. 46
Cut to 6 hours later… 1.30 pm…
Students file out of the class. I hear a voice calling out my name- “Gaurav.. Gaurav… I don’t think we’ll like the food in the mess. Let’s go out and eat.” Seconding his opinion is my 2nd roommate who, for obvious reasons, will be referred to as the ‘mimic’ in this piece of writing. I, the non-controversial person that I am, agree. After a wholesome and fulfilling lunch of 10 scrambled eggs (only for the giant), dal, paneer and paranthas, we rush off to class at 2.15 pm.
Cut to 5 hrs later… 7.15 pm…
The inhabitants of room no. 46 are trying to study in peace and serenity. Suddenly, the mimic recalls an incident, gets up from his bed and mimics the hell out of each and every person he has met during the day. Hilarious!! After a brief roll on the floor and with a hurting stomach, we get up to get back to studying. The calm lasts for only 2 minutes, broken this time by the sheer ‘lack of noise’ of Mozart’s symphonies, courtesy the giant. “God, what has the world come to?” I ask in terror. Rock fans reading this will sympathize with me. To go from the deafening drum beats of Megadeth to the sinfully noiseless violins of Mozart is an experience I pray none of my rock-loving friends ever go through.
Soon its dinner time and I hear a familiar suggestion - “Gaurav.. Gaurav… I don’t think we’ll like the food in the mess. Let’s go out and eat.” After a wholesome and fulfilling dinner of 10 scrambled eggs (only for the giant), dal, paneer and paranthas (the queer similarity of the last few lines to the lines in 2nd paragraph is purely deliberate, just to emphasize the frequency with which this incident occurs), we head off to have ice-cream. Everything is fine until the giant asks for a Walls Kulfi from the Cream-Bell vendor. Another round of rolling in the ‘hay’ follows (for the uninitiated, ‘hay’ is the single most frequently uttered word by the giant and can be substituted for any word in the English language, eg. I don’t like the ‘hay’ we get in the mess. We should go to a really expensive place and have ‘hay’ there).
Back in room no. 46, the satisfied giant sets an alarm for 10 minutes and dozes off. His uncanny ability to go into deep slumber as soon as he closes his eyes manifests itself soon enough. The alarm is ringing at full volume, the mimic and I are shouting at the top of our voices but alas, no response from the giant. After a minute of shouting, he finally turns in his bed, sets another alarm for 10 minutes and dozes off. No points for guessing the situation after another 10 minutes – we need to bring in inhabitants of other rooms as well.
Cut to 4 hours later.. 2 am..
I am planning to go off to sleep when I see the giant getting up. Yes, his 10 minutes had extended to 4 hours. Thankfully, we didn’t have to wake him up this time. I hope to catch up on my sleep now, wishing to wake up to the sound of my alarm rather than the one which sounds at 7.30 am. Another day in the life of room no. 46 beckons.
Gaurav Gujral
----
No points for guessing who the gentle giant is.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 8:11 PM 0 They Said
Labels : Supposed to be Funny
Too many vows made... only a few of them kept.
I will run a half marathon in two years and a marathon three years from now. I state so publicly so that I may be held accountable.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 12:22 AM 3 They Said
The north-zone round of BT Acumen 08 got over today. IIFT put up a decent show. We won the debate and came third in the quiz.
Praveen and I were representing IIFT in the quiz. We fell short of the first place by a margin of 10 points (at 55, we were just one correct question away). We got off to a slow start and tho' we caught up later on, the initial gap made a difference in the end. I thought all teams were good, and as such, it was a well fought quiz. IIML and FMS were tied at 65, and finally IIML went thru because FMS hit the buzzer and missed.
Sad, considering that we had done quite well for ourselves in the prelims. Sadder still, coz had we won we would have made a clean sweep, and also had the chance to accompany Anchal and Rahul to Bombay for the National Finals. (Anchal had already reached the national finals last year with Arka, who was the winner the year before that. Let's hope he keeps the tradition alive.)
After we lost, my same-name loomie scrapped me this today...
ecclesiastes 9:11
"I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happens to them all."
By Dhruv Chandras @ 12:01 AM 3 They Said
I suppose every school has some teacher who makes absent minded mistakes leading to funny sentences. These funny sentences are quoted around and soon other funny sentences are also attributed to the concerned teacher. This is how school legends are made, and we get a huge list of extremely funny sentences apparently originating from this famous leader, when in fact, only one or two might actually be his/hers.
We had a teacher in school who used to teach us drawing, and sometimes Hindi as well. This is how the legend went.
Once while she was taking attendence, she ordered, "Absent boys raise your hands !". Another time, while teaching geometric shapes, she shouted, "Now draw a straight circle !" On a particularly stuffy day, when we students had forgotten to open the windows, she announced, "Boys, you should not be sitting in such conditions. Open the air and let the windows come in !". Then while telling us about her family, "I have two daughters, and both are girls !". I know for fact that she had only one child, and that too a son. (I had once met them at the railway station, a couple of years after I passed out from school, and we had chatted for some time.)
A little while ago I mentioned a few of these witticisms to my room-mate, and he claimed that his school too had a teacher to whom some of the very same quotes were attributed. He had one priceless gem to the above list. "Children, the scooter is under standing the tree !".
I will end this post with the only quote of this teacher which I have heard first hand. She was a pretty lenient teacher, but she used to loath squabbling children, and used to make such students go and stand outside the class. At least once in every class she used utter her trademark utterance, namely, "If any complaint and both will get punishment !".
By Dhruv Chandras @ 9:34 PM 0 They Said
Labels : Mea Culpa, Supposed to be Funny
Yeah, that's right. The S8 results have come out, and I am officially an engineer. I am now Dhruv Chandras, B.Tech, CSE. Ha !
CSE stands for Computer Science and Engineering. B.Tech for Bachelor of Technology - a more fundoo sounding version of your regular BE. Instead of being plain engineers, we are now technocrats. A few years later, we will have B.Inno and B.Entre degrees.. (For innovators and entrepreneurs..)
I don't know why so many people today do engineering.
Actually, I do.
You see, it is a very respectable degree to have. From the earliest times, engineers were respected for their logical brains and innovative capabilities. They were the people who actually made things that you and me used. Houses, cars, appliances, etc. In my grand-dad's era, an engineering degree was sufficient to make one's way to the top of the organisation. (Well, it was sufficient for him !)
Also, for someone from a middle class background, it fills some solid bricks in the wall of your resume.
In 4 years, you learn stuff that you would probably never ever use again in your life. I want to do an MBA. Most engineers want to do an MBA. And even those who pursue MS degrees rarely end up applying what they learnt for 6 years. But then, the BE/BTech is the stepping stone to that coveted MS / MBA degree, which in turn is a gateway to lucrative career options, mainly in the upper echelons of management. If you look at all the management schools today, they are clogged with engineers. (Mind you, the directors of all these b-schools have tried to remedy this to diversify the intake, and they have tried hard. Short of setting quotas, they have done everything else. The percentage of engineers in the batch has remained unchanged ! Shows how many desperate engineers are out there trying make their BE/BTech worthwhile by capping it off with an MBA !)
I remember my school days. If you were among the top 10, then medicine or engineering was THE way for you. At least that's what you were told. If you were even decently good at studies, you were pushed into engineering. Most 10th standard board merit rankers used to take PCMB (i.e. Physics, Chemistry, Maths And Biology). Why - I asked a friend who had come in the SSC Top 50. To keep my options open, he said. Meaning, medicine ya engineering. He ended up an engineer, or to be more precise, a technocrat. I remember how shocked everyone was when one of our school toppers, Rahul Daga, choose to do commerce. He was very focussed though, and ended up topping his insti.
So, from the learning and application point of view, it is a totally useless degree to have. And most "engineers" will agree with me. But, as I said before, from the overall perspective, it is a pretty good, and SAFE degree to have. Besides the aforementioned points of a) being respectable b) being a good resume-filler c) being a passport to a good life, the BE/BTech degree has some more good things to offer.
For example, the 4 years of my B.Tech life provided me with innumerable opportunities for personality development, expansion of the mind and exposure to various people, cultures and situations. It gave time to think and to find out what I wanted to do in life. It toughened me up and gave me a chance to be more independent. Without doubt, I learnt a lot of stuff (mostly non-academic!!).
Thus the degree has been a great 'filler'. However, I would like to add that a large chunk of the benefits I mentioned in the previous para were possible only due to living a hostel life in a strange land, with students representing practically every part of India.
If, before you select your under-grad course, you know exactly what you want to do, then pursue that in a very specific way. Don't waste your time doing engineering. If however, you don't know what you want to do, or want to give yourself more time, then pursue an engineering degree by all means. However, do try to do it from an IIT/NIT/any other prestigious univ with a vibrant hostel life. It makes all the difference in the world.
What started out on a satirical note became a little preachy-sermonish in between, and ended on a slightly senti note ! The joyride/ordeal of B.Tech is over. Amen. Anyway, expect a lot more posts revolving around the B.Tech theme in the next few weeks. I have a lot of ideas... !
By Dhruv Chandras @ 1:31 AM 5 They Said
Labels : Mea Culpa
I hate it when these people change their names on orkut, either to some silly sentence, or to hacker font. It's impossible to search for such guys when you want to scrap them, and it's very tough to find out who they are if they scrap you.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 10:48 AM 0 They Said
Every now and then, I come across some really good site.. which I madly go through for a couple of days. The latest is itwofs.com.
I love bollywood music, both old and new. Ever since I heard Mama Mia, and then heard Mil Gaya, Hum Ko Saathi Mil Gaya, and realised that it was a straight rip off, I have always been curious to know how many more of our tunes are copies.
Itwofs.com, pronounced as "I two Ef Es", (Inspirations for Indian Film Songs), is a site dedicated to not only digging up such keede, but also providing the .rm clips of both versions. See for yourselves how haraamkhor our music directors are, is their motto.
Do go through it.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 10:13 PM 0 They Said
Most of us still vividly remember our first few days out here. Barring maybe a couple of exceptions, nobody had stayed in a hostel before. So, there was a lot of curiosity, apprehension as well as excitement among the 300 odd new inmates of the hostel. You could sense it in the air. It was tangible.
There was a lot of paperwork to be done before you were allotted your room. You also had to buy some essential items from the in-hostel co-operative store. 1 Kurl-on mattress (the pillow came free), 1bucket with a cover, 1 mug, 1 soap case, 2 ropes, 1 mirror, 1 broom, 1 dust-pan, 1 dust-bin, 5 hangars, 10 clips - these were the items I bought. I had purchased all toiletries beforehand.
I was quite pleased when I saw the room - it was pretty spacious and very airy. 3 parallel beds, 3 study tables with drawers, one beside each bed, and 3 cupboards. And yes, 3 metallic chairs. 3 students per room. When I entered the room, one plump stocky curly haired bespectacled boy was sitting on the middle bed with his father. Over his head, I saw a rope strung, with colourful faded boxers fluttering under the fan. The bed farthest from the door had apparently been booked too - there was a Kurl-on on it. The first bed was mine then.
We exchanged the Hi's and Hello's.... he was Maharashtrian too. We got acquainted. Started talking. His name was Amit - and he was speaking in a monotone. Reeling statistics after statistics. NITs and their rankings... which JEE rank would translate to which branch in which IIT... which AIEEE rank would get you X branch in Y NIT... what were the placements of NIT Calicut.. what were the quotas for each state... and then some more arbitrary statistics. I was speechless.
All the students didn't come at once. It was a trickle that started around a week before the commencement date, which soon become a flood a day before commencement. That day was a Sunday. I kept meeting new people and made a lot of new acquaintances. I had a little problem in the first week - it was hard to penetrate that Malayali accent. I should say those, because there were atleast 3 different accents. Non-mallus weren't the only people who had an issue with the accents. My other roomie, Koshy, confessed that in the first few days he couldn't understand the Malayam spoken by some of the other Mallus. I also had problems with the Hindi spoken by the UPites and the B-boys. The Kolkata hindi was fine, except that they used 'hum' instead of 'main'.
In the days when NIT was REC, especially in the 90s, the scenario as far as ragging was concerned was pretty bad. Apparently the first years used to be subjected to pretty brutal and humiliating stuff, and the occasional police intervention was not uncommon. To ensure safety of the first years, they were all cooped into one hostel, with a guard at the single entrance. The ragging wasn't that bad now, but the system continued. A-hostel was the fortress of the campus, that safe haven were you could roam about without worrying that some senior would come and start threatening you. You could go out only for 3 purposes - attending lectures, getting a haircut and paying your monthly hostel and mess dues.
We settled down. Formed groups. They soon got realigned along state lines as the seniors got in touch with us and started the ragging. But that's another story. Lectures were a let down. I sat on the first bench the first day. Wednesday. By Friday I was on the last bench - a backbencher... and I have remained one for the rest of my B.Tech life.
By Dhruv Chandras @ 1:39 AM 3 They Said
Labels : Mea Culpa
What do you do when you have been blessed with a face that looks sleepy all the time, irrespective of how fresh your mind really is ?
Most people have a basic look which their face conforms too, when the facial muscles are relaxed. Some look like Atlas who has not been able to shrug for quite some time. Some look like walking and talking posters of Happy Dent. There are others who seem as if they are afflicted by Bell's palsy. And I have a friend who looks like an angry convict most of the time. I however, look sleepy.
I wasn't always in this category. But, I guess, over time muscles take the shape of whatever you do for the most part during the time you are awake. Since I have completed three years in engineering, I have spent a majority of the time I was not sleeping in bed sitting in class in a stupor. I have evolved. My face having realised that it would have to look sleepy for around 6 hours a day, as compared to maybe 3 hours thoughful, 2.5 hours anxious, 1.45 hours pissed,.... and so on, decided to minimise its workload. And thus, as I said before, I have evolved. Pretty fast, eh ? Had Darwin been my teacher, I would surely have scored an 'S'.
The disadvantages are apparent, but there are some advantages too. For example, warding off unwanted people who want to forcibly enter your room and waste your time. I can, very conveniently, "have just woken up.. Come in, won't you.. ", or contrarily, "be going to bed. Please come some time later.. ".
What face do you have ?
By Dhruv Chandras @ 12:06 AM 1 They Said
Labels : Mea Culpa, Supposed to be Funny
By Dhruv Chandras @ 3:23 PM 0 They Said
Labels : Mea Culpa